Maybe I am feeling a tad bitchy lately because the last few weeks have seemed a bit ‘end of day-ish’, but this Blue Origin Space thing has really got me going.
Watching the Stock Market tank along with my retirement fund courtesy of the orange sociopath in the Oval has been no party, but the Vogue approved tourist shuttle ( ie launch ) has really irked me.
Of course there are a myriad of things going on right now that would perplex anyone with a brain wave. Like case in point. What’s with DJT’s new girlfriend?
We all know his love affair with the beautiful and slightly mercurial “Tariffs” has been strong and storied, we get it, but it feels like now their relationship is getting really serious, like prenup serious. As a matter of fact with her love and support he is tariffing the shit out of islands with Penguin taxpayers and extra penalizing one of the poorest countries in the world, Lesothos, because they ‘apparently’ don’t buy enough American goods.
Footnote; they can’t. They make 5 dollars a day, enough for a small latte and an 8th of a muffin from Starbucks.
He has also ‘Hasta la Vista-ed” the White House, hunkering down instead at Mar-A-Lago, home to numerous gold toilets and stolen, highly classified documents which have been gleefully strewn around the property, taking refuge in ornate powder rooms and Melania’s shoe closets.
Plus he has been busy making a shitload of new friends like Bill Maher, you know the guy who Trump sued for saying his father was an Orangutan! Well now they are BEST-IES!!!
And I mean BESTIES!!
Maher can’t stop gushing about his dinner with the 47th, saying he is measured and gracious and way more approachable than Obama! He even signed an order of insults Bill has levied at him with his big fat Presidential pen because he has a boffo sense of humor! In short, diminutive Maher says, with no cannabis induced euphoria involved (he wasn’t even high!!) that this champion of human rights and 34 time convicted FELON is not a bat shit crazy, vindictive, frontal lobe challenged dictator at all! He just plays one on TV!!
Phew! Now I can get on with my life. The man who cut the EPA, slashed childhood cancer research, and is on the cusp of shutting down Social Security, is just playing the role of someone destroying the world! Kind of makes you wonder who else might have auditioned for the part?
Hitler’s cousin?
But the Blue Origin space shuttle thing was really the last draw for me.
To even get on the Blue Bus as a civilian, you have to pre book your seat for a down payment of 150,000 dollars up front, just to secure the possibility of landing a spot on the 11 minute or so flight. After that it gets a little more nebulous about what the actual cost is, but it seems to fall somewhere between 250-400k.
So right away I am not only wondering who forked over the cash for this all expense trip to the cosmos ( hair and make up included ) but if perhaps it comes with my Amazon Prime Membership?
Yet before I even get into the ridiculous nature of the all female crew ( tourists) let’s look at what Blue Origin’s actual mandate is;
“Blue Origin means "Earth." We envision a future where millions of people will live and work in space with a single-minded purpose: to restore and sustain Earth, our blue origin.”
WTF?
These broads went to space to restore and sustain MOTHER EARTH for the sole purpose of sending up millions of our discards to live, thrive and DoorDash, while we here Terra Firma, treat our own planet, and its inhabitants, like a trash can. That acquiring Uranus, Jupiter and Saturn with all her rings, will make us a nicer, more compassionate species and not the narcissistic dumbasses we are all turning into?
I am so confused by this, my head hurts. Shouldn’t we start here on Earth first? Like save our forests, our beautiful and troubled oceans and perhaps reduce the carbon emissions that cloud our skies and sunsets. Maybe keep USAID and curtail the tariffs that are making it prohibitive for our farmers to be thoughtful custodians of the land, producing healthy and affordable food for all?
It might also be prudent to make sure we can drink our own water and to not shoot our neighbor just because they bug us or don’t recycle. Or perhaps maybe plant a garden or read a book or be kind to someone who likes birds and is lonely and that not everything has to do with money and a filtered selfie.
Which leads me to this;
Do I really need to see Lauren Sanchez in a tight blue space suit fully made up with platform moon boots barreling into space with absolutely no irony about presenting this group of gals as a space ship '“CREW???” That they are somehow stewards of science and hard work and struggle, representing thousands of women and girls who want to get into STEM who have sacrificed large swaths of their lives to pursue this calling?
Really? We are supposed to buy this shit?
When are we going to get sick of this and be outraged? When is this excess, this complete disregard for the tenor of the room going to abate. This was not about encouraging women to become neuroscientists, or aeronautical engineers or surgeons or inventors or even AI specialists.
This was the equivalent of what we are slowly becoming. One big fat fucking Instagram post.
You wanna be a part of a space crew? Get your hair done, zip up that suit and get someone to pay for it. Reach out to People magazine, tweet your followers ( tag your glam team and a skincare sponsor ) and buckle up.
Forget about the girl miles below hunched over her desk studying, who imagines the weightless beauty of space with galaxies that swirl and sparkle, pulling her into eons of light and possibilities….
Forget about the fact that she has been living and breathing this dream for years and years and years and looks to the world to reflect back her value and tenacity…
Forget about how of course she recognizes her path is long and arduous but intuitively knows that all her hard work and passion will most certainly pay off…..
And forget about her parents, downstairs, 401k’s in full view and diminishing, quietly sobbing.
This earthly plane can be a real bitch.
If you enjoyed this post, please share with everyone you know. Grazie MJxx
You ripped my heart out with this one.
Love the piece. Agree 100%.