It’s another glorious day in Southern California, that’s for damn sure. I am inching my way along the PCH taking in the glittering Pacific Ocean, the golden hued afternoon skies and listening to Taylor Swift’s new opus, The Tortured Poets Department.
Taylor is a very prolific woman with a lot to say about complicated, gnarly ass relationships and I am completely hooked. I mean, “I Love you, but you’re ruining my life????” I used that line last Tuesday - twice!
By track 24 I am fully invested in her “Fuck You” man mantra, when all of a sudden out of nowhere, a ‘fella’ in a huge Range Rover slash war vehicle tries to run me off the road. I attempt to get his attention by looking at his stupid face but it is impossible because his windows are tinted and his car is like twenty feet off the ground. That is when I realize two very important things…..
I want to RUN him and his SMALL ( Duh! ) Penis off the road!
I am also overwhelmed with the urge ( need ) to confront him at the next light. I know intellectually this is not a good idea, but wouldn’t Taylor kind of approve? He does seem like a total dick, an asswipe of a misogynist really who probably enjoys running older ladies off the road to compensate for his diminishing hairline and glaring sexual confusion. What is he going to do next? Sleep with my best friend and put a reverse mortgage on my house??? I actually start to speed up when I realize another very important thing;
I think I need to calm the fuck down..
So when my good friend called and said she had markers, poster boards and an open invitation for me to come to Manifest in Malibu, do I go?? Hell Yeah!
I even thank the little man in the very big car for my new found dedication to tapping into the beauty of possibility and personal growth but not before giving him the finger as he proceeds to slam on the brakes in front of me so he can cat call the blonde in a nearby convertible. She might be twelve. Namaste.
I arrive shortly there after. The property is stunning. It is dotted with Olive trees and Lavender and sits in a valley surrounded by the greenest of green and a sky that is clear and blue. An infinity pool spills over the deck and all you can hear is distant wind chimes and the rustling of sea grass. I take a breath.
My friend greets me and we take an evening walk along the beach. We can’t get our stories out fast enough with a shorthand that only very close friends have. Her story is my story but different, yet our ask is the same; relief.
The next morning after coffee and another three hours of catching up, I get the yellow and brown markers, she takes the coveted blue and green and we start. Our task is divided into three parts. What we want to manifest, Why and How? I was a little worried I might get stuck or not be to clear in what I really want to breathe life into, but boy was I wrong.
My board is chaotic and revealing and even though I am still a bit upset about the yellow marker, I choose to get over it. Immediately there is a thread and a focus that is simple. Apparently I am ready to have the wildest, most profound love affair of my life, and it is with someone I have known for years!
It’s me. Yup. I choose me. I haven’t done that before. I start to realize the beauty of any place will be blocked if I hold it too close. The ‘things, situations, thoughts’ I have had a death grip on for years are completing obstructing my view of what is right in front of me.
I look over at my friend who is hunched over and in serious manifesting mode and for some reason that comforts me immensely. Her board is super organized and linear and all green and blue ( no yellow )! Suddenly I feel this rush of connection to her, like we are two little kids in art class furiously trying to complete our project before the bell rings and we are dumped back out into the school playground.
I am not fucking around anymore and neither is she. We put down dates and timelines, fully jumping into unfettered possibility, where FEAR and DOUBT have been put, at least for now, on the back burner. This is unchartered territory for both of us, and there is a shift.
I leave that evening calmer, without my heart jumping out of my chest. As I get into the car my friend shares with me a heartbreaking revelation, that is so honest and pure and brave that I am surprised at how much I want to be her protector. Then I realize, if I want to protect her, I must want to protect myself. I am starting to think I might be a really great person to hang out with!!
After all, as Taylor asks on Track number 10 , “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?”
No one who manifested in Malibu.
Dude in Range Rover? Different story.
MJx
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Grazie Mille!
This really is wonderful You are an engaging & fabulous person