I asked a SUPER HOT guy - "What it's like to AGE in a MAN'S WORLD?"
And he said.......
I met aforementioned “SUPER HOT” guy a few years back whilst navigating the turquoise waters of Indonesia and its lusciously verdant landscapes.
We met super cute on a yacht that I happened to be on.
QUICK PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT;
“Please feel free to puke, rebuke, eye roll etc at how obnoxious I already sound. But stay with me….”
He was The Captain, the official Man in Charge and the curator of our nautical destiny.
When I say that I was not properly prepared for the beauty of his physical presence, I am not fucking around. He was an Adonis, totally Alpha but soft spoken and measured, running the ship like a vintage Swiss watch.
At the slightest error, he would shuffle crew off the boat ( to somewhere ??) and a new First Mate or Stewart would be flown in from Australia the next day all bright and shiny and ready to go. He was kind of intimidating and if truth be told, I was always a bit scared of getting kicked off the boat, then being unceremoniously dumped somewhere along the coast ( like in the middle of the Komodo Dragon Park ) which terrified me.
Of course the female guests flirted with him shamelessly and relentlessly, one even opting to lie across the console in the main bridge, asking if he ever had had sex while docking the boat? Without blinking an eye he removed her foot from his crotch and put out a Code Red to locate her husband. Not surprisingly she was seasick for the remainder of the journey.
One day, a couple of weeks into our Indonesian sojourn, he decided to join us on a day long excursion to Labuan Aji, a stunning island with hiking trails that lead to azure swimming grottos and surging waterfalls. For some reason ( maybe I really do have game?? ) we left the group early, just before dusk, to watch the buttery daylight fall into the Indian ocean.
Our walk to the village was magical. I got to know all about his life as a single dad and the isolation he felt when he could not connect with his daughter during Covid. He spoke of the eco-lodge he built in the Philippines and the pressures of his burgeoning fame on the Bravo hit show Below Deck.
As we came into town, with this golden fireball of a sunset lighting up the sky, he took his shirt off ( thank you ) and jumped right into the local soccer game with all the kids, teaching and encouraging them every step of the way.
I was in love ( don’t tell the console lady ).
Of course I made sure we kept in touch and as my podcast Senior Bitches started to chart around the world I asked him to be a guest. I usually do women over fifty, bad ass bitches who are changing the landscape around aging, but occasionally I do men as well.
So the Captain agreed and we spend the next few weeks trying to track down a time that suited his nomadic schedule. Finally a date is reached and I will interview him late in the evening from Los Angeles, as he is beginning his morning in Bali.
The day arrives and I anxiously pray for the internet to come through and it does! A few seconds later there he is, smiling, with the beauty and lushness of Ubud swaying in the background. As we begin the interview I feel like a fourteen year old girl who is about to ask the cutest guy at school to go to prom. Traditionally this has not gone well for me.
So I ask; what is it like to age in a man’s world? Especially when you are a STUD with a super sexy job and a very big boat. I actually posed it as a rhetorical question, thinking smugly that I already knew the obvious response. Tons of chicks, endless pussy and no accountability.
I wasn’t even close.
“It invites me to go inward.”
WTF????
Yes. According to this gorgeous, accomplished man, none of it meant shit if he wasn’t centered and authentic to who he was, which right now was being the best dad and role model he could be to his young daughter. Beauty is as beauty does. Sleep, good food, great friends and exercise, would all be the catalyst for him to attract a woman who was; Wait for it!!!
CONFIDENT in who she is.
Yup. And I quote here;
“A larger woman, with a nice thong on, is a lot more attractive, a lot more attractive, than a gorgeous woman over there in the corner who is insecure.”
Wait? Not a twenty year old with a perfect body and influencer status?
Nope. Not even close.
So what if this man is not an outlier and that actually being authentic to our own experiences and pathology is like, the biggest turn on of all? That we don’t have to be perfect, all curated up, just simply confident in our ever evolving selves.
Visibility is Power.
Look, I would much rather attach to that narrative, than be a shell of a woman skulking around the underbelly of life, embarrassed by the fact that we have dared to age in a man’s world. Fuck that shit. .
To quote Carrie Bradshaw….
“I can’t help but wonder; is the Captain onto something?”
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Grazie
MJxx
What a meaningful and rich ,approach to life this is a wondrous path for today