I just did this cute little show called The Traitors. You might of heard of it?
Apparently it is the most popular reality show on the planet right now and even won two Emmy’s last Sunday! One for the show, and one for the host Alan Cummings who anchors the US version and is delicious and diabolical in equal measure.
The premise is simple. A bunch of people get together in a spectacular setting and plot and scheme on how to fuck each other over in order to win a shit load of money. You make alliances, tell lies and betray all your besties. Each night you toss and turn in bed and hope you don’t get murdered by a gaggle of Traitors who roam the halls freely, deciding who will meet their demise before the sun comes up.
I know it sounds totally gruesome but it wasn’t at all.
In fact, I loved every minute of it.
Yet originally when I was asked to do it, I turned it down flat. Why? Because I was scared and I don’t like doing things that make me uncomfortable. Ultimately though, it was my son Jack who sealed the deal.
“Mom; don’t be a pussy.”
Now doing a reality show is pretty much my idea of hell, even though in all honesty I actually did do one a few years back. As a guest star!
The series was called Tru Tori, and starred Tori Spelling and her then husband Dean McDermott, and explored in detail the endless minutia of their faltering marriage.
The episode, The First Wives Club was an instant classic and described as such;
“When Tori plans a party for Dean's oldest son, she is forced to face her tumultuous past with Dean's ex-wife.”
Spoiler Alert!
That was me! I’m the Ex-Wife with a tumultuous past that she is forced to deal with! We filmed all over the San Fernando Valley, making, ummm, much watch TV that culminated in aforementioned episode with numerous locations and wild and meandering story lines. Even though now as I recount the experience a better title might have been “My Time in the Twilight Zone’ but of course hindsight is always 20/20.
Never the less, we filmed a spectacular Sweet Sixteen Bash held high above the hills of Encino attended by over three hundred people. Day after came a sombre ladies lunch ( SEE CLIP ABOVE ) that revealed a long hidden secret that would ruin almost everything moving forward (marriage and date night included )!! Throw in a backyard birthday bash where Candy Spelling introduced me to her “favorite new surrogate daughter” Tatum O’Neil and you’ve got bank!
I wasn’t even offended when Tatum asked me who the hell I was.
“First Wife”, I replied.
“Better than being the second” she quipped.
Tru dat sista.
Three uninterrupted hours later I am in love with both these gals. Tatum was super smart and engaging and Candy seemed to remember every guest that ever passed through the Manor. She recounted many stories about her infamous bowling alley and commented several times on Tom Selleck’s shoe size. Still not sure what that was all about….
Anyway, here I am ten years later about to embark on another journey of the great unknown, not knowing if my edit will render me the darling of the group or the super twat from hell.
So fully embracing my shiny new mantra;
AVOID AVOIDANCE…..
I jump gleefully into the endless ether of the unknown KNOWING that unlike many moons ago I really don’t care what anybody thinks.
How fun! Being SLIGHTLY over sixty affords you that.
Plus experience has taught me all journeys lead to great insights;
( Size 14 1/2, Extra wide )
Now I can just enjoy the party….
and the murders.
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